Friday, December 19, 2008

It's a drab day and sadness prevails

I think it's the isolation that is getting to us. Even tho I am out of the house 5 mornings a week I still feel lonely and isolated. Even tho George is the least social of people I believe he is feeling it too - when he worked in an office (instead of the basement) he could interact with people if he so chose - he didn't very often but he could.

I was never a Christmas person but George was always happy to see it come - not this year. Center City is a walk and train ride away, really doesn't take all that long to get there but it is an effort we can't seem to make. This year I sent a check to charity because we were not all over the place putting lots of money in the Salvation Army kettles. Philadelphia is surrounded by suburban malls and we just don't see any reason to rent a car and go to one - not having a car here is a bit confining. When we lived in Alexandria we didn't use the car much but we could easily hop into Old Town or down the road to one mall or another when the mood struck us. I think if truth be told, we both regret this move.

Last year we were invited to a friend's house for Christmas and what a delight that was. Sharon decorates her house so amazingly. You should see her tree - OMG - it looks like a team of professionals did it instead of one tiny little lady. Her home is a holiday winter wonderland - Amazing. And she does it all herself. Blows me away. I'm missing that - all my friends. (Give me a moment here I'm tearing up).

Christmas when I was a kid was always horrific - the mother saw to that. So I'm not a Christmas person but I have always enjoyed giving gifts - that's fun. Getting them is fun too, of course. I mailed or had sent, gifts to my friends, not getting any in return, so what, but still...Not getting anything from George because, well, there is nothing I need or want and there are no little goofy shops around here, or if there we haven't found them yet, so no little goofy presents. George is getting clothes and another thing or two...I think he would curl up in a little ball and cry if he didn't get a least a present or two, even if they are clothes.

This place is never going to be anything close to home -

I got this message from the Universe this morning:

Oh, yes indeed, Grace, another holiday season is upon you, and so it is here, so I bet you're wondering what I'd like as a present. Right?!

Well, since there's already peace on earth (for those who look), since there's already goodwill toward all (mine and yours for starters), and because Grace is already in the world (took long enough), how about, if I may ask, we talk a little more often? You lean on me a bit more? You expect a few more miracles? And we never stop to look back?

Is that asking too much?

I'm there anyway,
The Universe


I need a miracle

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