Saturday, February 29, 2020
There are no universals, so please ask.
The other day I read a post that offered up information about hugs and hugging. It seems the optimal time for a hug is 20 seconds and we should be giving or getting 8-12 hugs a day - all in the service of better health.
Just reading that started to trigger a panic attack for me. I do NOT like to hug or be hugged, particularly by strangers or near-strangers or friends or family or people I don't know or people I do know ...Please, just don't.
I particularly hate hugs that are launched at me without warning - my brain and body interpret that as a physical attack and I sometimes react accordingly - try to explain jerking away from someone and pushing them away, and then there is that right hook to the jaw. Basically - don't touch me without permission.
Quite obviously I don't do massages.
And yes, I am claustrophobic.
And then there are those horrors called weighted blankets - I can't even. Being held down, unable to move - OMG - screaming-jesus panic attack. It makes me anxious just reading about them.
Yet - I am a big hand-holder, at least with my husband. I am also a leaner, I lean into/on my husband whenever we are standing next to each other - don't know why I do that, but I do. Then again, I don't recall doing that with anyone else.
Please people, be aware that not everyone likes hugs, or likes to be touched. Some people experience that as a physical attack - can you get that? Please, get that.