Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Whoa - sometimes it is SO hard to keep my opinions to myself.

Today on 'Medium' I read an article titled "Practicing Positivity - Small things with a Large Impact"  which annoyed me. Y'all know how I feel about positivity *snort* *sneer* But what the article was about were things that I consider common courtesy; being a decent human being acknowledging other human beings.

You know I am all about smiles I can't imagine NOT greeting every person I come across with a smile and a hello, even on the days when I am feeling less than wonderful. I can't imagine NOT being polite and courteous. I can't imagine NOT acknowledging when someone extends a courtesy to me. I can't imagine NOT noticing the people I interact with on a regular basis, like in the grocery stores, and using their name and noting when they have made some change. Dominique D. had a new hair style this week. I noticed it and complimented her because - well, I do shit like that.

I fling compliments around like confetti because - hey, whatever anyone has done/said/is wearing, if it makes me smile then they are doing ME a kindness. So why shouldn't I say "Love your outfit" "Your hair looks great" to complete strangers?

Look, I am no one special, and I don't think I am any better or worse than anyone else on the planet and maybe I am naive when I get annoyed with people who comment on behaviors that I take for granted, as being special. And, that THEY are special *gasp* because they have discovered these behaviors and are now exhorting everyone else to put these behaviors into action.

I really, really, really wanted to comment on that 'Medium' article but - better to keep my opinions to myself - except here of course. This is my place to say what I want.

I don't want you to think that I am not often rude and dismissive. As I have said before "Saint" is part of my name NOT part of who I am.

Just this past Sunday someone was banging on our apartment door - like a manic woodpecker - a rapid series of bang, bang, bang  over and over. WTF? I opened the door and there was a person there who held up their ID, started to say they were with the census and pointed down the hall and started to ask something about a neighbor. I rudely said, we did that already and closed the door in her face. Rude? Yup. You know what is even more rude, I've replayed that little scene in my head and revised my reaction to one even MORE rude as in - "Why the hell are you banging on my door! What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you know how to knock on a door?" That's what I should have said I'm thinking now.

So - yeah I can be rude. In real time and in retrospect (Ah, those what-I-should-have said moments.)

Anyway, today dawned sunny, cool, not humid, not hot and not rainy - this is a one day thing the weather people say.  I'll take this one beautiful day, embrace it with smiles and giggles and wiggles of joy!


  1. It's a sad day when people have to be told to simply exhibit kind human behavior. *gawd* I remember when my son (now 33) started working at the local grocery store. I told him to hand out smiles freely cos that's what they cost... nothing! I told him to always be polite, even when he didn't feel like it. Well, the longer he worked there the more people started lining up at his check-out, even tho other check-outs might have been empty. Everyone, especially the elderly ladies it seemed, wanted "that nice young man to check me out because he's always so kind". You know how much effort it takes to go up to the service counter, with a load of checked-out groceries, to ask the manager who to write to at corporate to commend an employee... but people did it all the time, to make sure the higher-ups knew what a good kid he was. So yeah, it must be a rare commodity today when you get accolades for simply doing what every human being should do.

    1. I would have linked to the post but Medium is a pay site and I know, slightly, the person that wrote it. And your comment reminds me that I need to send a note to Corporate about Dominique D. - she has been super kind and helpful to us of late.

  2. Yes, these are your opinions and well expressed. I understand that you are not handing out advice, it is your page and your place to vent, or shine, or whatever you want. Yet I am compelled to say that if more people modeled their behaviours along the lines of the opinions herein expressed it would be a better world.

    1. It is the self-congratulations that always frosts my butt, and the implication that they are somehow better than you because this is how they behave. Then the idea that is somehow a NEW and revelatory way to interact with other people - Oy! I think unkind thoughts about these people and basically want to smack them! Which I suppose speaks to the point that I'm not all that and a bag of chips LOL

  3. Replies
    1. Seems people have to applaud themselves for showing common courtesy to their fellow humans so that THEY can feel good about themselves...Oy!

  4. "So yeah, it must be a rare commodity today when you get accolades for simply doing what every human being should do."

    I don't think I said this right, Grace. What I meant by this was... people feel compelled to go out of their way to give accolades to someone who is simply doing what they should do... be kind. Just goes to show then, how rare people do what they should do (be kind). Clear as mud? I don't think this explanation sounds any better. *lol* Oh well, I tried.

    1. Your comment was quite clear the first time...

  5. COPD4real2:20 AM

    Hey, we’re tawkin’ here !

    I love today’s post, and thank you for not being afraid (yes, the young people today are THAT scared that a smile might require some level of emotional commitment or intimacy) to be yourself and hand out compliments (and attitude) as needed.

    I once got a young man pounding on my door at sunset. Furiously !

    Imagine how taken aback this uneducated salesperson / teenager was when my greeting was not as expected. “For THAT kind of pounding, someone better be covered in blood and DYING out here” I yelled, opening the door.

    We were both off our mettle, but it was a teachable moment for sure.

    It had never entered the child’s head that there was a safety issue involved in not intimidating potential customers by disturbing them at dusk. It never entered the child’s head that his 6’4” stature could be alarming to shorter, older people as he continued to leave childhood behind and enter the world as his own representative, without a helicopter parent at his elbow.

    So, it was a learning opportunity for him as I made it quite clear that, even if I were willing to help him make a sale for whatever his cause might be, he needed to smarten up and try another day as he’d blown his chance for that day.

    Post script: and, no, he wasn’t smart enough to hear the invitation to try again later in the week.

    People. Oh, so peoply !

    1. The person banging on my door was an average sized white haired older female person LOL Who, yes, definitely should have known better. Cluelessness knows no age boundary!

  6. The last time someone was banging on our door like that I called the cops! It was J's nephew who we didn't know but he learned his lesson and wrote a letter asking to come visit so I don't call the cops on him again. We didn't reply to the letter. I don't like strangers at the door and am very rude to them - if I open the door at all. J is nice. Too nice. He hears the whole spiel while I'm yelling in the background - NO, we don't want it. Shut the damn door! LOL! If you come to visit, I won't be rude. I promise. :)