Wednesday, September 09, 2020


That's the time as I start typing. I've been up and about since approximately 3:45am - why? My husband needed a bathroom run but he couldn't get up and walk to the bathroom because of his vertigo problem. There is a urinal tucked into his nightstand and his fumbling with it woke me. Then Miss Frankie figured since everyone was awake this would be a good time to start yelling for breakfast.

You see, before the vertigo set in my husband normally got up around 4am and he would feed the cats but since the vertigo that was just not happening because a) often he was so dizzy he couldn't stand up and b) even if he could, bending down to put the cat dishes on the floor was never going to happen.

So, I got up, fed Miss Frankie, emptied and washed the urinal. I was still in the kitchen tending to Miss Frankie when my husband called out for me to bring a bowl or bucket because he was feeling nauseous - ok. Did that that, brought him a damp cloth to wash off his face, cleaned out the barf bowl and - well, it was 4:15 and no point in going back to bed.

Miss Frankie was very perturbed because now that she had food and water, it was time to go back to bed and she didn't want to go alone - inconsiderate humans to stay up at this ungodly hour. She yelled at us, bitched and moaned but off to bed she went, alone.

I set up the coffee pot the night before as usually my husband manages fairly well in the morning, so 4:30am and the coffee is making, the paper hasn't come yet, my husband is still too dizzy to move from his chair and too dizzy to even read, I get my laptop and clean out email.

(It's now 6:28am and Miss Frankie has come out of the bedroom squeaking, guess she got lonely.)

Anyway, by 5am the paper has been delivered, I put aside the laptop and read the paper along with my coffee. Then back to the laptop. My husband finally feels well enough to wobble, with his cane, over to his desk and start work for the day.

I put up another pot of coffee for him, (I've had two cups and that's it for me.) He wobbles back to the table, I pour his coffee, continue to type this and I am so tired and sleepy but I can't go back to bed because hubby is still wobbly and even with his cane, I don't trust that he won't fall going back and forth across the living room from his desk to the table. I expect he will be wanting his breakfast soon and I'll have to get that for him.

I suspect this is going to be a very long day. We are supposed to go grocery shopping today, usually we go on Monday's but since this past Monday was a holiday we figured we'd wait a day or two to allow deliveries to catch up but I have a sneaky suspicion there will be empty grocery shelves today. Husband says he thinks he will be okay to go shopping, we'll see.

When this vertigo thing started back in March, my husband's primary care doctor said "Oh, that's too bad, be careful you don't fall again"  What? That's it? Be careful? That visit was a virtual and his doctor said that in-office visit was required for him to re-new my husband's medications. We got a in-office appointment in mid-April and saw a different doctor because his regular doctor wasn't going into the office. We met with this fill-in doctor, complained about the vertigo and this idiot said the same thing "Oh, too bad, you need to be careful." WTF! I asked about seeing an ENT about the problem and this idiot said "Oh, I don't think you need to do that." Bullshit I say.

Our insurance does not require a referral to see a specialist so I made an appointment with an ENT - this is taking us into June. ENT doc does his thing, says it might take another treatment to resolve. A month later, another trip to ENT. He says if the vertigo doesn't improve then it is on to a VNG test.

We get through August with the vertigo manageable and then last week, it is back with a vengeance. Called the ENT, can't get an appointment for the VNG test until September 29th. If we all live that long because the vertigo is getting bad quickly - as you can tell if you've read this far.

I think doctors are a bunch of assholes, my husband's doctors anyway. Nowadays it seems you have to be your own doctor, figure out your own diagnosis and how to treat it. It's good thing I can manage all that.

It is now 6:59am - hubby wants to go take a shower so I guess I'll sign off and supervise that little expedition...

Lordy, I sure hope your day is going better than mine...


  1. Oh good lord, Grace! :-( What a mess. I wish I could give you some words of true encouragement but I know they won't help and quite honestly I don't know what to say except "Hold on, night time will be here soon."

    I abhor doctors and no, it's not only your husband's doctors. They're pretty much all idiots. That dizziness your husband is experiencing should absolutely NOT be there. It's making his life... and in turn yours... hell. Call the ENT back, say that your husband's quality of life is in the toilet, and they MUST get to the bottom of it for him. My daughter-in-law's mother has the same damn thing and after multiple appointments they found out it was something about her ears but still... they couldn't do anything about it. Some days are better than others for her too and it seems some seasons are worse than others as well.

    My guess, for whatever it's worth, is that it's probably a medication your husband is taking that is causing this trouble. Trace back to when it started and see if he did or took anything different starting at that time. Also, you can try calling the pharmacist you use and have him/her look up your husband's medication to see if any of them stands out as causing dizziness.

    I'm genuinely sorry this is happening to you today, Grace. What a shitty ass way to start the day... and continue it, for that matter. Starting the day dizzy & puking is none too pleasant either. Gawd!!!! ~Andrea

    1. My husband has been taking the same medications for years so I don't think that's the problem. the original diagnoses was benign paroxysmal positional vertigo on the left side and that was without any physical exam. The ENT, who is a marvelous doctor, actually did an exam and he diagnosed it on both sides. The vertigo should stop after one or two treatments (the epley maneuver). And it did but came back both times. The next step is the VNG test to see what else might be going on in the inner ear. Plus my husband has hearing loss which he refuses to acknowledge so this VNG test will sort that out as well. Yay for that. BUT without going into the his medical details my husband has other diagnoses that affect his balance so this is just more on top of those. None of his conditions are inherently fatal but put them all together, another bad fall and fracture will be the end of him, fer sure.

    2. Yep, my daughter-in-law's mother has hearing loss too, which the start of seemed to go hand-in-hand with the dizziness. I hope they can not only find out definitively what's wrong your husband but can fix it. Aging is not for wimps... especially on the side of caregiver. :-/

    3. Could she possibly have Meniere's disease? For which there is no cure (of course!) I think all the years of blasting music through headphones killed my husband's hearing. Conversations in our home go along these lines - I say something, he says "What?", I say "Nevermind"

  2. Actually not a lot better here.
    I'm sorry you are going through this. You do have to be your own advocate and doctor. Most are clueless if you ask me. Do they have a cancellation list you can ask to be on so maybe you can get in before 9/29? The world sucks, you don't need this too. I'm sorry Grace.