Tuesday, October 13, 2020

For two people who love music as much as my husband and I

 our wedding included no music at all. I had almost no say in how my own wedding went - my husband decided it should be over a long Easter weekend when a big family get together was planned in Boston - his hometown and where all his relatives lived. My idea was to wait until June and just have a big party in the yard - beer and franks, cookies and cake and music blasting. You have to know that we were living in a little USA/Canadian border town and everyone knew everyone and it would have been a blast - trust me.

Anyway - his younger sister  arranged everything, from the church to the reception dinner at a restaurant - and paid for it. The cake was had at his older sister's house where just about everyone was parked in the living room watching the Stanley Cup because - Boston & hockey & the Bruins. 

Anyway - prior to all that my husband and I talked about what 'our' wedding song would be, keep in mind we were in our early 40's  - 

My choice was - 


My husband's choice was -

Don't know why this was particularly on my mind today -

10 comments:

  1. Don't Know Much is a beautiful song! I've always loved her voice and that song. The other one I hadn't heard before. How come his sister didn't include music in your wedding? She must've known how you both love music! It's nice she paid for it but that seems like a big oversight. You picked your red dress didn't you?

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    1. There was no reception as such, just a private dining room at a restaurant. Back at his older sisters house no room for dancing and besides the hockey game was on. Yes, I chose my red dress which everyone got their shorts in a knot about and my bouquet of gardenias which G's older sister complained bitterly about since she didn't like the smell. Older sister also made cracks about my wedding ring which I also chose...Not the happiest of days which is why G and I don't celebrate our wedding anniversary..

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  2. Same here, not the wedding I wanted as my MIL planned it. I loved my MIL and let her have her fun as it did wonders to break her out of the depression from having lost her husband, the FIL I never knew. I adopted the philosophy of let her have the wedding and we'll have the marriage. But like you, we don't celebrate that day either.

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    1. It was a bad move on my part to let my husband and his family have THEIR way - started the whole marriage on the wrong foot. Yes, it was generous of his younger sister to plan and pay for everything - she was the ONLY family member who liked me. Sometimes going along to get along is the wrong thing.

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  3. It's too bad you couldn't have celebrated with the party in the yard. Our wedding was a simple affair, with a dinner for our extended family. I didn't care about the wedding, I was more interested in the marriage. A blogging friend and our daughter always remind us of the day, otherwise we would sometimes forget. We think that's funny...after 56 years we figure the marriage will last. 🙂

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    1. For various reasons letting other people have their way with MY wedding was just the wrong thing - some things should just be yours. The parts of my wedding that were MY choice were roundly and LOUDLY criticized.

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  4. Oooooooh, I love both those songs, Grace. In fact, I don't think I could pick a favorite even if you tried to force me. So different from each other but each wonderful in their own way. Yeah, when other people are "picking up the tab" for something, sometimes they feel it's going to be how THEY want it. I only have one son and I told him "Look. Your sole job in the wedding thing is to show up at the time your bride-to-be tells you to show up and to say 'I do' on cue. And that's it!" Girls usually dream of their wedding day, boys usually don't... so it's her day to have as she's always wanted. I'm sorry that didn't happen in your case, Grace. If I would have been your mother-in-law or sister-in-law-to-be, it would have.

    Yes, I wonder what made you think of all this today?

    I don't remember what our wedding song was, to be honest. We were both 19 years old and both sets of parents paid for the wedding and reception and I didn't even think to have much say in the matter. I picked out my dress, my wedding colors, the cake, the flowers and all of that but... back in those days wedding halls were booked pretty far in advance too so... I remember sitting in my parents' little kitchen, with the phone book, calling the few halls that existed to see which one was open and when. Someone had reserved one of the halls for April 24th but then never sent in their deposit so... we got it. I got engaged in early March and was married by the end of April. Lots of water under the bridge since then, egads. I wish we had done things a lot differently in the 44 years since that day but... ah well... we didn't. Love has left the building and now we're together for convenience, as we're older and don't know what else to do.... are too fearful to do anything else anyway. It sucks but that's how it is. I wish we would have done more to "preserve our love" for each other... but it's far too late for that shit now. That bridge has burned down a long time ago. ~Andrea xo

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    1. Ah, you married young, I was 44 and should have known better. I won't comment on your situation now, it would be just a lot of words with no help or comfort but I do understand where you're at.

      Actually my husband's younger sister who planned and managed the whole thing was very sympathetic to my wants and needs, it was his older sister who just had to bitch, whine and complain about everything. Younger sister knew I loved chocolate and so planned a chocolate cake but older sister bitched about how much she hated chocolate so younger sister, sweet woman that she was ordered a half chocolate, half vanilla sheet cake and actually bought me a Lladro wedding cake topper - which I still have (it's worth a pretty penny). One of my husband's other SIL's (married to his younger brother) actually asked me if I would give it to her! Because, as she said, "Wow those are really collectible and expensive" And people wonder why I am not overly fond of my husband's family *sigh*

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  5. I've never heard the second song before but I LOVE the first one. It would have been a perfect wedding song. Did you ever have that big party in the yard?

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    1. No party - it would have been a blast. We could have just walked across the street to the church and then back for a real wing-ding of a home made party with lots of music and fun!

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