Saturday, December 12, 2020

No spirit, none at all

 I've never been a Christmas person but in years past I made a little bit of an effort - and in the last 20 years that effort has been very little indeed. This year - no effort at all. It just doesn't mean anything to me. 

My husband and I had a long conversation about all the holiday bruh-ha-ha at Thanksgiving and he said it is all meaningless to me him too. He said he used to love Christmas but hasn't given it much thought in years. I reminded him that he had children and most folks "do" Christmas for their kids. 

Actually the only time, since reaching adulthood, that I did anything for Christmas was when I was living with someone - I did it for them I guess. Or they wanted a tree and all that stuff. When I lived alone I never gave it a thought except for presents for other people. Some years I spent Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day with Jewish friends so - Chinese food and a movie. 

I used to get all excited about making Christmas cards, sometimes I was planning and designing them in October. This year? Not an idea in my head. Zero motivation. And I can't say it has anything to do with the the virus lockdown - that has had no significant impact on us at all. We've been living in social isolation for the past 8 years - in the early days we had a problem with getting food but that sorted itself out after a a few months. Our lives have not changed at all other than wearing a mask when we go out once a week to the grocery store. Not changed a whit. Same old, same old. 

I have a few decorations and my Charlie Brown Christmas tree and they are in the closet and will stay there, I mean, what is the point? Plus, aside from the bell wreath which I usually hang on the (inside) door of the apartment, I have no place to put out tchotkes - Christmas or otherwise. I have a dining table, 2 very small end tables near my husband's chair and a narrow 2 shelf thingy near the door that holds a bowl with my keys, laundry card, glasses, hand sanitizer and masks. That's it, that's all the space I have. The window sills are very narrow and besides the curtains cover them - it's a good thing I'm not a collector of 'stuff 'because there is no where to put 'stuff' except in the closets, of which I have many and they are mostly empty. 

I just can't care. I just don't care. I can't think of a reason TO care. And I don't know what I'm supposed to care about. 

I send people presents when I think they might need a little pick-me-up or when I see something that is just perfect for them. I give to charities throughout the year, when I do the bookkeeping and see that there are a few extra pesos I can spare for someone else. 

What else? What is the driving force of Christmas anyway? Giving? Okay, I do my giving all year long. 

I'm happy for other people to be happy - And I do love all the "Ohh, shiny!"

4 comments:

  1. I get it. I really do. It's perfectly fine to not do the whole Christmas thing. I'm struggling finding any holiday spirit this year too. Lexi got a new bed and toys, the cats will get toys but I have nothing for J. I enjoy seeing the Christmas lights in the neighborhood but I don't want to do any of that to our house and that's fine too. I did get photo cards today. Now to find the motivation to mail them!

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    1. I just don't get the whole once a year thing. We are long past it being a religious holiday, and by that I mean the old religion of wicca and druids who celebrated Nature and the winter solstice. Christianity took care of removing the natural celebrations and co-opting the symbols of that religion. This morning as I'm writing this I'm thinking that Christianity ceertainly sucked all the joy out of life.

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  2. I despise Christmas and I am judged. So be it. I asked someone to tell me one gift they got last year. They couldn't. Just shows me they didn't need it. I know there is a religioius aspect to it as well. I don't know many who truly mean those words and celebrate that aspect though. It's not my holiday that is for certain!

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    1. I don't despise Christmas, I just don't get it. Yeah there is that whole Santa thing for the kiddos - can't get away from that and I say let them have it. I used to say that if you think Christmas is a religious holiday then just go to church. But really the Christian religious aspect is all just a bunch of hype - the early Christians just co-opted the Old Religion's holidays to try and convert them, they didn't have much else to offer. As I said above, Christianity just sucked the joy out of life - gimme the old ways any day.

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